"I want to be beautiful."

"Sweetie, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

 "I want to be beautiful." replied her 6 years old daughter.

The mother was afraid, afraid that at a such young age, that her little girl was already concerned about her appearance. Later on, the mother looked at herself in the mirror with disgust. My thighs are huge. I wish I had a flat stomach. My face is so round. I hate my double chin. Why are my wrists so big. I wish I had a thigh gap. The insecure parent started to shed tear, after tear and thought to herself.
“How was she suppose to teach her children to love themselves, if she didn't even love herself in the first place?”

Our society puts an enormous pressure on boys and girls of all ages to strive to meet the standards of beauty.

Body Image in teens

According to the US Department of Heath and Human Services, “90% of 15-17 years old girls want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance”, that being the case, body image is an large issue especially in teenagers. During the teen years, adolescents undergo many changes regarding their bodies. Girls grow breasts and larger hips, whereas, boys will become more muscular. And so, it takes time to get used their new appearance and many will lose confidence in their looks.

Additionally, teenagers brain development makes them more vulnerable to criticism, teasing and negative comments. Adolescents tend to spend more time with their friends than the other age groups, and therefore are more likely to be negatively influenced by their peers. 

Signs of a negative body image

• Paying a lot of attention their looks (weight, shape)
• Signs of depressions and self-harm
• Dislikes the way their look
• Preoccupied by other people’s appearance and the beauty standards that are usually impossible to achieve

Positive VS Negative Body Image

People with a negative body image tend to:

- Have an poorer academic performance

- Avoid certain activities because they are concerned by the way they look

 According to research, conducted by Dove, “17% of women claiming they won’t go to a job interview and 8% missing work on days when they feel bad about the way they look.” 

- Miss out on life opportunities

On the other hand, people with a positive body image tend to:

- Focus more on friendships, relationships with their family, etc. 

- Make new friends with more ease and are happy with their achievements 

- Have a more positive outlook on their life

Men & Women

The vast majority of campaigns that promote a positive body image are targeted towards women. However, both men and women can have a negative body image. In fact, over the past decade, body dissatisfaction in men has increased.

The Alliance for Eating Disorder Awareness reports that between 2.4 and 3.6 million men suffer from eating disorders today. Although the number of men that are affected by eating disorders is much lower than the number of women, both men and women clearly are affected by the beauty standards present in our society.

In closing 

In the final analysis, parents are children's role model and should be cautious of the way they act around their children, since this can hugely impact their children's behaviors and their body image. Our appearance is an superficial quality and as a society, we should focus more on our internal beauty rather than what we look on the outside.

One day, if we redefine our beauty standards, maybe we will finally be able to not only love each others bodies but also, love our own.

Written by Naomi Duggan

Q&A with Fanny Trudel - School psychologist at Grande-Rivière

MEET ISA-BELLA LECLAIR: An Incredibly Uplifting and Inspirational Body Positive Advocate

Scrolling down my news feed on Facebook, I came across an absolutely brilliant story about Isa-Bella Leclaire. Born with a rare genetic condition, she takes the challenge to fight for body diversity. Isa-Bella inspires boys and girls of all ages to embraces their appearance. Her body-positive message went viral all across social media and made it's way around the globe. She has since been featured in Seventeen magazine, People magazine and appeared on a segment by TLC.

Isa-Bella Leclair, an Uottawa student from New Brunswick suffers from Parkes Webers Syndrome (PKWS). Some of the signs and symptoms of PKWS are Arteriovenous fistulae (AVF) and lymphedema. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, lymphedema is swelling that occurs when lymph fluid can’t flow normally and builds up in the soft tissues of a limb- which causes her right leg to expand to approximately 40 pounds. Her condition does not label her in any way, when you first meet Isa-Bella, the first thing you notice about her is her compassionate and loving attitude she has towards the world.

Q&A with Isa-Bella Leclair

Q1

ND: What does “body positivity” mean to you?

IL: The way I perceive “body positivity” is knowing what you deserve, and loving yourself, not only your body but also, loving how you portrait your body. If you want to be happy, the first step is loving yourself: you need to love your body and acknowledge that everyone's body is different and love all those differences.

Q2

ND: How can others celebrate body diversity?

IL: Celebrate it! Accept that everyone's different. One of my favorite quotes is “Ugliness is just a failure of seeing” from the book The humans written by Matt Haig. If you see something and find something not so “pretty”,  just seeing it in another way, seeing the differences as more than just “differences” and seeing the positive in it, can really help.

Q3

ND: How do you live a positive life?

IL: Find something you love and that inspires you. Put your energy into something you love. Also, surround yourself with people you love and try new things you never thought you would be able to do. Challenge yourself! Acknowledge that your body is just a carve that dries upon your thoughts and really, everything you do in life, stems from your thoughts. Just having positive thoughts is the first step to a positive life.

Q4

ND: How did you develop self confidence?

IL: I've had a physical disability since I was born and I grew up in a family that believed that everyone was different and that was normal, and everyone was beautiful. But when I got to high school, some people didn't grow up, the same way as I did and already had an idea of what was “beautiful” and what was “normal”. I had to acknowledge that some people didn't grow up the same way as I did and as a person who's different, it's kinda your “duty” to change their thoughts. So, I took the challenge, not in a negative way, but a positive one.

Q5

ND: When do you feel the most proud of yourself and your body?

IL: It's when I'm not 'healthy' that I feel sad, because there's no one taking care of your body. I feel most proud of my body when I wake up in the morning, I don't feel tired and I feel all energized. Or, when I find new things I can do with my body that I didn't know I could do, like new sports or engaging in new activities.

Q6

ND: In what ways do you take care of your body and keep it healthy?

IL: I have a 'sleep schedule'. Everyday I go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time. I've been doing this for 2 years now, and so, my body is used to it. I go to sleep at 10 and wake up every morning at 7. Sleeping is very important. I also drink a lot of water and just being careful of what you eat. Eating whole foods is good for you but you shouldn't deprive yourself from other foods. If you eat something and you don't feel good afterwards, it should be a sign that your body doesn't like that. You should eat foods that make you feel good and energized. Doing physical activities, it doesn't have to be an extreme sport. I can't do extreme sports because of my heart but I started doing yoga, which is really good because you can go at your own pace. Going for walks and  taking a breath of fresh air are also very good ways. Avoid stress, school can be stressful for some people, but make sure you're studying something you love and know why you're studying that.

Q7

ND: What advice would you give to someone who is self-conscious about their appearance?

IL: It doesn't just change from day to night, you don't just wake up with self confidence. It is something you need to work on just like anything else. You need to practice and build it up. Start with small steps, just waking up in the morning, smile as you wake up and put a song that you really like. Starting your day on the right foot. Even if there's things that bring you down and you look at yourself and feel bad. Trying not to compare yourself is also a very important thing. Trying compassion instead of comparison is really good. Not seeing others as a competition.

Your body is something that you're stuck with all your life, you have all your life to take care of it and acknowledge every part of it as your own and make it your own. When you meet someone for the first time, you can tell if someone takes cares of themselves. Even if you're 'different' and don't have that 'magazine', 'model' look, if you feel comfortable in your own body, it will show.

Q8

ND: Do you think that as a society we are too body focused?

IL: Yes, for sure. It's not only the body, it's really everything. When you look at your life, even as a child, you know kinda how it'll be: you go to high school, then you graduate, you go to college, then you get a job, start a family then die. This is what you should do. It's not good that people raise their children thinking that that's the way it should be. You should have the freedom to do anything you'd like. You're not born with a image of how someone should look, or how something should be. It's really brought up to you, through our culture. It's good to brake these bonds and traditions. With the new generation, we see that more, people who don't stick to one job, people that adventure. Also, in magazines, there's a lot more diversity, like in Covergirl, there was the first boy model. There's a lot more curvy models and models with disabilities, which is really cool. Just braking labels and telling yourself why it's that way, questioning why you do stuff and if that is the right thing.

Go check out the article Isa-Bella wrote for The Lymphie Life : https://thelymphielife.com/2015/06/12/i-always-end-up-still-feeling-good-about-my-body-how-one-woman-with-parkes-weber-syndrome-stays-positive/

Written by Naomi Duggan